Have you ever gotten a phone call that changed your life? I remember the phone call telling me about Dani Marie. It changed my life for sure, and it was the stuff my dreams were made of....I received another life-changing call a couple months ago, but this one was straight from my worst nightmares.
Let's rewind....
December 17, 2018-
I'm an early bird. I always have been. Daniel works swing shift at Toyota, so sometimes he leaves out in the early morning hours. This particular morning was foggy. I woke up just a little before 4:00 am and heard him stirring downstairs. I messaged him with a little small talk. We were making plans for the busy evening ahead. I was instructing him to pick up our daughter and her friend from gymnastics because once I dropped them off I would be headed back to Booneville for a Christmas party. That was it.....I didn't say "I love you" or "Be safe"....I just made plans for another busy afternoon. I laid there awake for a few minutes and got up to get our clothes laid out for the day. I crawled back into the bed half asleep to snuggle up with Dani and do my morning devotion. My phone rang. It was a number I didn't recognize, and I assumed it was a scam call. I answered it. It was the ambulance service calling to inform that Daniel had been in a terrible accident. They told me he was in the ambulance and had just been cut from his car. They said he wanted to talk to me, so they put me on speaker. He told me he loved me. I could her pain and fear in his voice. "I love you. I love Dani. Ok? I love y'all." That was it. The EMT got back on the phone and warned me about the fog. He told me that they couldn't land a helicopter, so they would be taking him to Tupelo ER. He told me to come but to be very careful. I remember asking him if Daniel was going to make it. My exact words were, "Wait, tell me... how bad is it? Is he going to live?" He hesitated and then told me he really didn't know. "I don't know, I just don't know." He said he had a severe head injury and had lost a lot of blood. He told me he was hit by an 18 wheeler. He hung up the phone.
I couldn't breathe. I collapsed to the floor and army crawled into my closet. I stayed on my knees for what felt like forever before I could stand. I cried out to God. I was literally terrified. I called my parents and begged them to pray. They told me they were coming to get me and drive me to the hospital. I made a few frantic calls pleading with people to pray as hard as they could. I stood when I finally had the strength and walked to wake Dani Marie. I remember stopping dead in my tracks before rousing her. I looked at her sweet face, and I couldn't do it. I recall thinking this could be the very last time she ever woke up with her daddy alive, and I just couldn't do it. I had to let her live in this reality we had taken for granted at least a few more minutes. I somehow managed to get on some clothes. My parents arrived and we headed to the hospital. I was shaking uncontrollably. I'm calm. I'm extremely level-headed. Most of the time in tense moments, I remain strangely controlled. Not this morning. I was terrified I was going to lose my best friend. I was scared I would have to raise my daughter alone. How could this be happening? So fast??? I remember unbuckling my seatbelt and getting onto my knees in my mother's floorboard. She begged me to get up and buckle, but I do my best praying with my face to the ground. I talked to God like I don't think I ever have before. Don't get me wrong, He and I have had some very intense and difficult conversations. This was different. This came from a place of complete helplessness and fear.
You see, Daniel and I have people we love dearly who aren't Christ followers. They just aren't saved. They are good people who mean so much to us, but they just don't see the need for God to be on the throne of their lives. We have been burdened over their salvation for a while. For the past year or so, we have been praying for God to do whatever He needed to or through us to bring them to Him. It hit me like a ton of bricks. What if this was it? What if this was the moment that was meant to point others to Him? If I have learned anything in my life it's that God is for me. He is absolutely for my family, There were years where I doubted this truth but no more. I know with all my heart that God can work all things for His glory. I was not doubting God's goodness, but I was doubting my ability to cling to it. I was on my knees in the floorboard and crying out to my God. I was quoting scripture and clinging to its promises. I begged him to lend us His ear. I told him that I would never try to change His will, but if He would just lend us all His ear, I knew that by this time literally hundreds of people were praying with us. I'm a firm believer in the power of praying people calling out your names. Literally, hundreds petitioned Heaven on our behalf that morning. I could almost hear them all lifting our names. I told God how much we needed Daniel. Then I prayed the hardest thing I have ever prayed. I asked God to give me the strength to praise His name even if He didn't see fit to save Daniel. I told Him I knew He was good, but I begged him not to let me forget it even for a second when I got to that hospital. I knew that if this was the moment God planned to use, that if I cried out in anger or questioned Him that Daniel's prayers to use us to point others to Him would have been in vain. I knew if I believed what I say I believe, I had to still praise His name no matter the news. Then I realized that Dani was in the car with me. Was she scared? Would she be angry at God? NO! This couldn't happen. I know how cruel this world is. My worst fear for her would be for her to shut God out. She won't stand a chance in this world without Him. She's just six, would she understand? How could she not blame Him?
I got up and reached for her in the backseat. She was holding my daddy's hand and she was awake. I grabbed her precious face.
"Baby, Do you love Jesus?
"Yes, I love Jesus!"
"Do you know He loves you? No, matter what? You know Jesus loves you, right?"
"Yes, ma'am......I don't want my daddy to die."
"I know you don't baby. I don't either. No matter what happens, no matter what we hear when we walk in those doors in a minute, you know what?"
"Jesus loves me."
"We have to cling to that."
She nodded. She was calm. She was scared, but she was not panicking. Looking back, her faith is far more mature than I gave her credit for.
We got to the hospital and the wreck was on the news. It was ten minutes, but it felt more like hours before we knew he was stable. They let me go back to him. It was the most wonderful sight. Granted, he was banged up awful. His back was broken, his leg was crushed literally from the inside, and his head lay open to the skull. His orbital wall had been crushed, but he looked at me with the one eye he could use and mustered up a smile. "I've really done it this time haven't I, Honey?" were the words he said. I was so grateful in that moment. They informed me that he needed CT scans to see how bad the damage was. His head could most likely have bleeding we couldn't see and some damage that would show in the scans. The scans would let us know about his organs. I slid down the wall and started praying that God would let the scans show, "No brain damage, no organ damage, no brain damage, no organ damage....." I repeated the words over and over. An hour or so later, those were the trauma surgeon's exact words. We were so grateful! That morning I was taking his smile for granted, taking the day for granted, and now I was soaking up this moment and so thoroughly grateful to hear his voice and see his face. It wasn't the same face, it still isn't. In fact, he now wears a scar across his forehead similar to Harry Potter's trademark lightning bolt. We jokingly refer to him as "The Boy Who Lived" around here. That morning changed our lives. We spent the next month in the hospital. Multiple surgeries, therapies, and hurdles were to follow over the coming days. We took them all in stride. I missed more work than I ever have, our daughter who had only ever spent a single night away from us now suddenly had 17 under her belt, my strong husband needed my help to bathe, eat, and go to the restroom. Life certainly changed, but in spite of all of the hurdles we had to overcome...I'd say in many ways it changed that day for the better. I'm different now. Daniel's different. We all are. You see there will never be another day I take for granted. I will tell people I love them far more often. I won't assume that our busy afternoons will come without stopping to soak in and be grateful for the quiet mornings. I won't put off for tomorrow what could be done today because the truth is that tomorrow isn't promised.
Daniel and I grew closer over those weeks together in the hospital room. We watched movie marathons, played board games, and we laughed. We laughed so much at so many silly things. We cried a little, but we mostly laughed. We spent more time together those few weeks than our busy lives have ever allowed us to in fourteen years. This Christmas was so different. We truly got a crash course in gratitude. Our village of co-workers, church members, friends, family, former students, and even complete strangers showed up and showed out. We had so many meals provided for us, gift cards gifted to us, laundry done, toiletries brought to the hospital, baked goods that arrived at always just the right time. People took care of Dani Marie and made sure she never missed a beat. People have showered us with love and prayers, and we are so thankful. We are eternally grateful for the love and kindness that has been and continues to be poured on us.
Daniel is already walking with crutches. He's hoping to be walking completely on his own again soon. He still has a long road of therapy and recovery, but we are so thankful to be on this road. He realizes that God spared his life. The night before the accident, Dani Marie prayed like she always does for her daddy's safety on the way to work. The law enforcement, medical professionals, and people who saw Daniel's car all tell us there is no way he should be alive. It's a miracle. We truly believe Dani Marie's prayers were answered and God placed a hedge of protection around Daniel's brain and vital organs. The prayers of so many of you after that have kept him and given him strength. Once again for that, we feel so grateful. We have told everyone who would listen about God's goodness. The truth is we should have been doing more of that even before this. God didn't need to spare Daniel that day for him to be good or powerful. He was both of those things already, but He chose to let us keep our husband and sweet daddy around a little longer and for that we are forever grateful!
This morning hug the people you love. Don't take this regular Monday morning for granted. This crash course has taught me to be ever thankful for the normal days and all that comes with them. We love our village! More updates soon......
