Chapter 19 ( Large and In Charge )

Hello!!!!! I wanted to update you all on how Dani Marie is doing. So much has happened since my last blog entry. We attended the NICU reunion, went for a check-up, and completely skipped a size in diapers. Whew............. This lady has been doing some growing!

We are also really starting to see her personality. There is nothing "little" about it. She already thinks she should be calling all the shots around here. She is laughing out loud! She started with just a tiny little "hee hee" a few weeks ago, but we have now progressed to a full-out chuckle. It is literally the sweetest thing I have ever heard.
She is still a fighter, that refuse to quit or be told no trait that helped her excel in the NICU........... Well....it didn't go anywhere. She now channels the inner fighter into staying awake. She isn't a big fan of going to sleep, so she gives it everything she has before she finally tuckers out. I can't complain though, once she goes down...she usually sleeps through the night. (knock on wood)

How am I? Well I'm learning. I guess that is what this parenthood thing is all about. I feel overwhelmed and confused sometimes, but overall I just feel happy. I still miss her every morning that I have to go to work, but it makes me value the time I have with her that much more.

She went for a check up the other day. She now weighs..................... 11 lbs. 13oz. !!!!! Right at 12lbs. That means she has gained 10 lbs. We love it! She is so chubby and cute!

Check this out.

She has a wardrobe that could rival any celebrity yet she prefers.....................

To rock a diaper!

Keep her in your prayers....We have a very important NICU follow-up appointment coming up on September 12th.
Love you all!!!!

Chapter 18 ( It Takes a Village)

I am an elementary teacher. This will be my 6th year teaching the most precious little children. I am always super excited to meet my class. There is something different about the way I see them this year. Don't get me wrong, I have always loved them. In fact for years they have been the children I didn't have. Sweet hugs from my school babies helped me forget sometimes how much I longed for a precious baby of my own. I guess my feelings toward my children haven't changed, it's more my feelings toward the parents. You see I always have tried to put myself in the place of my children, I've tried to be aware of their concerns and their fears. I have wiped their tears and tried my best to make them feel comfortable. I have put myself in the shoes of the struggling reader or the shy pupil, which has always allowed me to create a classroom environment where students weren't afraid to try. I try to be aware of how scared the new kid must be by remembering my days a new teacher.

The difference now is that I  never realized exactly what the parents must go through. I think about tomorrow, and my heart goes out to all the parents. How scary it must be to send your world into the care of a complete stranger. My mom is keeping Dani Marie. She is the most loving, nurturing, kind, and capable woman I know. I know every day when I leave Dani Marie with her that she will be well taken care of. I know she will be showered with kisses, hugs, and laughter. Knowing this doesn't stop the tears. I know she is fine, but I miss her just the same. So the thought of having to send my baby into the arms of someone I met only for a few minutes on orientation night......Wow! That is hard to take in. I know those days are ahead, and I know that the Lord will prepare me for them.

In the meantime, I now look at each one of my students and I know that some parent is sending me "their Dani Marie". I have always seen the 7 year old who was nervous about her first day, but now I notice the mom who is fighting back tears. I watched a dad fill out the emergency contact form. I imagined how scary it might be to trust decisions about his son's care to someone he had only known a few minutes. These 19 kids will be with me each day during the school year as much as they will be with their parents.

This new perspective makes me so thankful to live in Booneville, Mississippi. I thank the Lord that I work at a school like Anderson Elementary. I know these teachers, and I look up to so many of them. Teachers who go out of their way to cover the smallest scrape with a Barbie band-aid, because they realize that the" boo boo" hurt Sally's pride more than her knee. The teacher that gives the entire class some goldfish mid-morning, because she knows that Joe was running late this morning and didn't get a chance to eat breakfast. The kindergarten teachers who hug a little extra, the teacher on morning duty who always has the biggest smile, I have the privilege of working with these amazing people every day. I think the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child" is spot on.
I'm blessed to live in a community where I can feel good about sending my little girl to school, church, etc.
I'm very thankful for the new perspective that God has given me this year. Tomorrow morning I will start my year the way I always do, by praying for each of my students who come to me. This year I will also being praying for the parents who are letting them go.

Chapter 17 ( A Million Bucks )

Chapter 17 ( A Million Bucks )

Wow...... I can't believe the summer has come and gone so quickly! I have been shut up in the house for most of the summer with our sweet baby girl. We wanted to keep her in until she got her shots.


Well..... She had her 2 month shots today, even though she is now 3 1/2 months old, but should really only be about 3 weeks. (Confusing, right? ) Her check-up went wonderfully!!! Her heart and lungs sounded great and she weighed in at 9lbs. 15.6 ounces!!!! Can you believe how chubby she is? We are so proud. I vow I will never let her go on a diet! Too many people have prayed for every little roll that sweet girl has :) She was on the growth chart for weight, and she measured in at 21 inches long. Her motor skills are ahead of schedule. She is doing her best to try and turn over. Our tough cookie only cried a little when she got her 3 shots in her little legs. The icing on the cake to the whole checkup.....Dr. telling us, "She looks like a million bucks! "

We are so thankful to hear those sweet words. We know that so many people have been lifting her up in prayer. We will never be able to thank everyone enough for all the gifts, cards, calls, visits, and prayers they have extended to our family over the past few months.

Now that we have received a clean bill of health, we will be able to get out of the house a little more. Perfect timing, since I will be returning to work tomorrow. What a wonderful summer break we had! Before this year the perfect summer consisted of at least one spa vacation and lots of visits to the beach. Well, I haven't been soaking in the sun once this year, in fact I think I have only been out of the house a handful of times.  I can't remember the last time I had a massage or facial. I don't have a glowing tan, I don't even look well rested. The bags under my eyes are real, but so is my smile. This has been the perfect summer.

More updates soon.........

Chapter 16-In God's Time

Chapter 16 ( In God's Time)

So......I've been working on parts of this blog for quite some time in anticipation of this day. Today is July 9th, 2012. This is the estimated due date of our daughter, Dani Marie. Doctors say she should have been born sometime this week, possibly today. God said, He wanted her to be celebrating her 3 month birthday this week instead. This may not seem like a huge deal to some people, but to me it is just more proof (as if I needed any) that God runs on His own schedule.

If things had gone according to plan, according to what is considered normal......I shiver to think.... I would not be holding this miracle baby in my arms right now.

You see.... Dani Marie's birth mother was still able to conceal her pregnancy even the day she delivered. She was still able to keep this pregnancy a secret, and therefore she was not influenced by others persuading her to possibly make another choice, other than to give Dani Marie up for adoption.
She would not have been able to keep her growing belly a secret much longer.

She also told me from her own mouth, that if she had not gone into early labor, she may not have been able to go through with the adoption.

So, while any Internet resource site, medical journal, or health professional may tell you it's not advised for a baby to come into this world at 27 weeks. This means the mother is only a little over 6 months pregnant, and the risks are severe.

For Dani Marie, this was the perfect time to be born. This was the only way she could come to us, and we know with our whole hearts that she was meant to be our daughter. God knew we needed her, and He knew she needed us. He knew that despite the latest research, July 9th was not the date for Dani Marie to make her arrival, but April 12th would be the day that she forever changed the lives of so many people.

There is a saying that was given to us on a little canvas while we were still in the NICU, it is...

" They tell me you were born premature, my child,
But this is only partially true....
For in my heart you were right on time.~

At the top of this little canvas are the smallest footprints you can imagine. I can't help but cry when I look at this. Today of all days, today which was the planned day for my sweet baby to come into this world, I am so in awe of those tiny footprints. They remind me that only God's timeline matters, only his plan is perfect.

His plan for her was never easy, but God knew he had created a fighter in this baby. He knew she would find all the strength she needed to grow and thrive, He knew in watching her strength that Daniel and I would gain our own.

I know that waiting for something your heart desires can be agonizing, but I know first hand that God's plan is so perfect. He doesn't promise it will be easy, He doesn't promise us we won't hurt, but He does promise us that He knows the plans He has for us, plans for HOPE and a FUTURE.

Chapter 15 ( Daddy Day )

Chapter 15 (Daddy Day)

Wow, I'm so tired! Parenting takes a lot of patience, lack of sleep, and the ability to multi-task. I won't complain though, I LOVE every minute of it. I mean after all, when you wake up to this face at 1 a.m., how can you just go back to sleep?

She wants to play, so we play! The result, we wind up looking like this......

She finally falls asleep, and I am delirious and wide awake in the wee morning hours.
It is honestly so much fun though! She weighs 6 lbs. 6 oz. and she is now 10 weeks old.

We celebrated Father's Day this past Sunday. It was a really good day. Dani Marie and I created a photo book for Daniel. It documented the last several weeks with lots of pictures, ( maybe the Martin family should buy stock in the Wal-Mart photo department? ) and quotes about being a daddy.

We also fixed a little poem that read.....

My Daddy you were meant to be
You do the job just perfectly.
I'm tiny and small
You're big and you're tall.

I may never look like you,
but Mommy already thinks I do!
Our bond isn't flesh and bone,
but simply where our hearts belong!

Daniel loved it!

I realized how fortunate my daughter is to have a sweet daddy who loves her unconditionally. He is crazy in love with her. I think she is a little crazy about him too!

This father's day I loved on my daddy and Daniel a little extra. I celebrated how blessed I am to have them both in my life.

I also celebrated another relationship. I know Father's Day may leave some of you feeling a little empty, but we can all celebrate a relationship with our Heavenly Father.

This year my relationship with Christ has grown so much. I owe that in part to Dani Marie. She allowed me to realize that God is faithful and that He truly has a plan and purpose. The lyrics to a Hillsong praise song seemed to fit this past Sunday just perfectly for us.


You're the Father to the fatherless
The answer to my dreams
I see You crowned in righteousness
We cry glory to the King

Comforter to the lonely, the Lifter of my head
I see You veiled in majesty
We cry glory, glory, we cry glory to the King
We cry glory, glory, we cry glory to the King



This song reminds me what God is. He isn't just someone to cry out to when life doesn't go the way we think it should. He truly is the Father to the fatherless, and the answer to our dreams. I hope this year that Christ has done in your life something awesome and powerful the way he has worked in ours, if so then you know that God is the "Lifter of our head"
If this year has been a hard one, or if Father's Day leaves you feeling lost or lonely, then God for you can be "Comforter to the lonely"

That is the wonderful thing about our mighty King. He is exactly what we need, exactly when we need it.

I could go on and on, but I've got to have a nap! I can't wait for the next chapter that is already in the works. It is MY FAVORITE!!! I can't wait to share it with you!

Love you!

Chapter 14 ( Our Chosen Child )

I have so much to tell you all! This has been a very hectic and exciting week. We celebrated Dani Marie's 2 month birthday yesterday. 2 months, already!!! We are now only 1 month away from our "due date". Hard to believe as far as we have come, we still aren't technically scheduled to arrive in the world for another month. Life is going fantastically!

We are getting settled into a normal routine.......Let's be honest scratch that, we have no routine! We are just getting settled into our new normal which is flying by the seat of our brand new parenting pants and learning as we go. You know babies should come with a manual, well they do, but the problem is all the "What to expect, Baby Wise, etc." books contradict each other. We are learning.....but it is a process.

We went for our first "regular" doctor visit. Dr. Baldwin bragged on us! He thinks we are doing amazingly well. All the prayers have worked wonders on our baby girl. She weighs almost 6 pounds!!! 6 pounds!!!!  We have come a long way from 2 pounds. She is eating about 3 oz. at every feeding. We are so proud of her!

I was sitting in her nursery this morning rocking her, and I reflected on the last few months. My life has changed so much, and I have come so far in that short time. I think about and pray for all the people who have reached out to us. Since I started writing this blog to tell Dani's story, literally hundreds of people have shared their struggles, joys, and trials with us. Some of the stories are happy ones with fairytale endings, some are sad stories of loss and heartache, and some are just people looking for hope. These stories have all touched me in so many ways. They humble us, and remind us how blessed we are to have our story to share.

My heart has been burdened for some of you who have shared testimonies about feeling hopeless after losing a child or just longing to hold one. I don't have any magic words of wisdom to make your pain better, but I hope you will find comfort in Dani Marie. She is proof to us all that God still is in the miracle business. That reminds me of something that happened a few weeks ago.....

I was sitting beside Dani Marie's crib in the NICU. It had been a long day, and I was enjoying the company of my sweet baby girl. The shift change took place, and the new nurse came into the room. She started to tear up right away. She told me that she had wanted to meet me. Me? Why I asked. She went on to explain that she was a floater and worked all over the hospital. She told me she had been in the delivery room the day Dani Marie was born. She told me it was amazing. I asked her to please share more details if she could. I knew some of the details of Dani's birth, but there were holes in the story. She went on to tell me that they had worried about Dani because they weren't sure how far along her birth mother was and she was also born fully breech. Things happened fast and there was no time or way to turn her. The nurse told me it was almost like someone was guiding Dani Marie, and telling her exactly what she had to do to come out and make it just fine. That is exactly what she did. She tucked her head tightly into her chin and arrived. We both cried as we talked about all the victories Dani Marie has won since that very first day. I know that the "someone" who safely guided her into this world, is the same "someone" who has held his hands around her since her arrival. God has brought this tiny lady so far. Over the last 8 weeks, God and Dani Marie have teamed up to show us that there is no stopping the hand of the Lord when he wants something to work.

Ok, so funny story......

Daniel and I are changing Dani Marie into 1 of her 1,000 cute outfits the other day. This particular pink and white polka-dot sleeper she had worn a few times. Daniel goes to put her leg in, and the leg won't bend. Our first thought was, "Oh, no! Her leg! Something is wrong with her leg. " Upon further investigation, it turns out her leg was just too long! She had OUTGROWN the outfit!!! We laughed and tossed the sleeper aside for my nieces to use as a new baby doll outfit.

Love you all!
Keep you posted!

Chapter 13 ( Home is Where our Heart is )

Well...... This is the blog I have been anxiously awaiting. When I first wrote Chapter 1, I could only hope for and imagine what  I would get to say in later months about the day that has finally arrived.
I told you in Chapter 12 that we would probably bring her home this week, but we actually got to bring her home a little early. The past 7 1/2 weeks have come and gone quickly in a way, but have also dragged on in another sense. I have started writing this blog post many times, but I've been uncharacteristically at a loss for words. The one post I thought I would have so much to say about, has left me speechless for days.

I just keep staring at my precious tiny daughter, and my heart just swells with joy. All I can think of is...
"Be still and KNOW that I am God." This moment, this weekend, I have dreamed of it so many times, but it always seemed unattainable and just out of reach. God brought us to this moment, this moment of being able to type this blog from my home computer while watching a miracle sleep in her bassinet beside me. I'm so overwhelmed with emotion, but my mind and heart keep replaying everything that has happened. I know you are celebrating with us, and we can never thank you all enough for the prayers you have sent up on our daughter's behalf.

Several dates and days are forever imprinted on my heart. April 12th, in the morning hours our daughter was born. We didn't even know at that time, how much our lives were going to change. That night I got the call that we might possibly be chosen to be her parents. The next day on April 13th, I met with the bravest woman I have ever known. Dani's birth mother, I looked in to the eyes and held the hand of that sweet girl. I knew she had given us a remarkable gift, but it is now after nearly 2 months of falling further in love with Dani every day that I truly realize what a sacrifice she was making. A few hours after that meeting, I walked into a NICU hospital room, and I might as well of handed my heart to a tiny 2lb. baby girl. From that moment to this one, every thought I have has been consumed with her presence in our lives. On April 15th, we had our first GOTCHA Day, a day we will celebrate every year. The day that we  Got Dani Marie. The day that she legally was signed over into our care. We were already in love, we already belonged to her, but on that day we knew that she was officially ours.
Friday, June 1st, a day that my wildest dreams could not do justice. This was the day we walked into our house with our baby daughter, Dani Marie. Years of prayer, tears, hopes, fears, and emotions led us to that moment. I wanted to immediately write and tell you all about it, but I sat quietly and over and over in my mind I thought, "Be still and KNOW that I am God." Only God, could bring us to this. I fought him for years, I wanted to MAKE it happen, I wouldn't accept "No" for an answer. God never told me "No", even though that is what I thought I heard.  He told me "Wait." I'm so glad He did. She was more than worth the wait.

I can't wait for all our friends and family to see her. She is still not "due" to be in the world for another month. We have to be very careful with her since she is still so small. The doctors and nurses have advised us to try to mimic the hospital environment as much as possible. We limit visitors, and we will not be taking her out for quite some time. We are anxious to show her off, but we will have to wait a little longer. Please continue to pray for her as she makes this transition. I will keep you updated and post lots of pictures, (surprise, surprise :) )