1. Dani Marie is 6 months old!!! Can you believe that? 1/2 a year! Time flies when you're having fun, for sure! She weighs 16 lbs!!! She is so incredibly cute and chubby. We love her belly and her precious, healthy thighs. She SMILES all the time. This girl loves life. Have a look.....
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I know I'm partial, but really.... Cutest baby in the world!
It's amazing, she really is our hero. We went for our NICU follow-up on September 12th. The follow-up team was very impressed with Dani-bug. She is catching up fast.
Sister loves to eat! Bananas, prunes, and carrots are some of her favorites. Watching her eat is so much fun!
2. Mommy and Daddy, we are doing fantastic. I'm currently working on repairing my relationship with the Lord. I have had so many mixed emotions over the last 6 months. Dani Marie's story has given me the opportunity to reach out and share the joys of adoption, pain of infertility, and hope found only in God's perfect plan. I have been honored and incredibly humbled to exchange stories with remarkable women over the last few months. I know that God has used Dani Marie to heal our hearts and touch many lives.
Some of the emotions I have felt over the past few months are:
1. Overwhelming Amazement:
To be honest though, sharing her story has really helped me grow. At first, I didn't know exactly what to say. I just prayed and asked God to give me the words. He did. Once I started, they just seemed to flow. Telling her story still makes me tear up. I choke over the words. I think I always will. Every time I stop and take in exactly what God has given us, I am blown away. The gift, so undeserved, He gave us even after my faith and trust in Him had faltered so many times, amazes me. I don't think that feeling will ever go away.
2. Consuming Guilt: This one I have struggled with. I have had to really work on my relationship with the Lord. The daily relationship I had with him before my mountain-top experience was damaged. I made the mistake of letting one burden consume the majority of my prayer life. For years, I let infertility and empty arms consume me. It was all I thought about, and it was nearly all I talked to God about. When I finally reached the point where I didn't think I could bear the burden anymore, well then I quit talking to God all together. I know it broke His heart. You see, He knew what was around the corner for me. He could see the entire picture. He knew that I wasn't being punished or forgotten. He knew I was being chosen to receive a precious blessing. When I think back on the years of claiming God's promises, but then becoming bitter when "the desires of my heart" weren't answered quickly enough, I feel guilty. I felt ashamed for a few months after Dani Marie came home. The devil used my realization that I have a human heart, selfish by nature, to make me hang my face in shame. I was almost embarrassed by my lack of faithfulness.
But my favorite,
3. Humbled by His Mercy: Mercy is the thing that has truly changed my life. Even though I had given up on God answering his promise. I hate to admit it, but I had let hope slip away from me for a while. I always knew that God could make me a mother. I knew He could heal my body if He wanted to. I thought that meant I had faith. True faith would have been me knowing He could heal me, but trusting that if He didn't~it was because He had a better plan for me. The most incredible thing is that I don't have to feel guilty or ashamed. Because of this magnificent thing called mercy. God showed me that He loves me so much. I didn't deserve to be blessed beyond measure by a tiny, miracle who made my dreams a reality. I sure didn't deserve for Him to show me just how powerfully and quickly He can work when His plan has been set in motion. I'll never deserve to be Dani Marie's mother, but because of His mercy I am. He poured compassion on me, compassion that I could never earn. Undeserved, but freely given :) I'm reminded of this mercy everytime she smiles.
What a wonderful 6 months this has been!!!
