First of all, I wasn't sure if I would continue blogging to tell Dani Marie's story. The last blog seemed like a good stopping point. It's amazing how far we have come since that very first entry explaining her unexpected but long anticipated arrival. Today's events changed my mind. They had to be added to this precious story. I'm so thankful the Lord has allowed me to tell of His blessings on our lives.
Before I get to that.....Are you ready for this???
It's so hard to believe she is this grown. Wow, it happens so very fast.
December, specifically the Christmas season, has always marked the end of another year for me. For so many years it was an all too quiet time in our home. I've written before about the hurts and struggles that accompanied so many silent Christmas mornings. It was impossible not to notch off another year, year 1,2,3,4,5,6, and still no little one to celebrate the most wonderful time of year with.
That first Christmas with Dani Marie was a fantastic one. It made me realize just how perfect God's plan for us was all along. It helped me return my focus to the promise of the manger, and I regained an eternal perspective I had long put away. Every Christmas since has been a wonderfully magical time in the Martin home. I never fully forget about the quiet Christmas seasons, but I think of them much less often. Today, for the first time in a few years my Christmas tears returned. You see, I have always loved to decorate for Christmas. I love the lights, the ornaments, the trees, and every bit of the red, gold, and green goodness that represents the Christmas season. I have hosted countless ornament parties with friends and family. We exchange fancy ornaments and ring in the start of the Christmas season. I have changed my tree up it seems a million times. I have gone with the Southern Living fancy look, the rustic burlap wrapped style, the sliver and gold nostalgic color scheme, the shades of red theme, and a few others. It has been pretty so many times, but it never was quite what I wanted it to be. I guess I changed the topper, the colors, and even the tree itself often seeking the "perfect" tree. It just never felt quite like home. I couldn't put my finger on it. Today, I finally see what has been missing all along. I am more thankful for this Christmas tree than I have ever been of a decoration, because I finally understand.
I picked Dani Marie up after preschool today. She had a Christmas gift bag full of things she made at school. In the bag, what might as well have been pure gold, were three ornaments that absolutely melted my heart. It was the most special ornaments of all, you know the ones you can't buy. Handmade ornaments with her sweet little handprints. I would have paid hundreds of dollars for them, but they were given to me freely. Given to me by a beautiful blondie wearing the biggest smile. She was so proud of them. I put them on the tree and she just beamed. I fussed over them and examined each one. I cried like a baby. I suddenly remembered green and red paper chains, a wax crayon church, a glittered and soggy from too much glue candy cane, these had all adorned my mother's tree. The tree of my childhood, and that was what I had been missing. My tree had always been pretty, but today for the first time it is beautiful. For the first time in my life, I had a little child to make the best ornaments of all. The ones you can't buy, and those are priceless to me. My tree will never again look like it could grace the pages of a holiday magazine, and that is just fine with me. This Christmas my heart is bursting because God once again used his tiny girl to remind me just what means the most. I'm so thankful today and every single day that He chose me for her and her for me.
How great is our God y'all???
Merry Christmas! I hope your family has a priceless Christmas season filled with lots of contagious laughter, yummy food, and a few of those decorations that you just can't buy.
