Chapter 42- Because He Knows It's My Favorite

Happy Fall y'all! I love this time of year. We have been busy with costume parties, Halloween events, hayrides, pumpkin decorating, and football games. I hope you are absolutely loving this cooler fall weather. Well, most days..... Let's be honest we live in Mississippi (some of us) and it's still 80 every now and then until about mid-November. 

This time of year is great, but it is busy. More so lately with a husband who works crazy swing shift, full-time job, full--time graduate student, full-time mom, all the wonderful hats I get to wear. I was given the most wonderful reminder this week, by none other than my precious Dani Marie, that God cares about every detail of our crazy, full, busy lives. I have to share.....

A few weeks ago I was a tad overwhelmed with work, family, and school responsibilities. I remember a particularly packed day. I had deliveries to make, errands to run, a test to type, discussion questions due, fabric to purchase for an attempt at a custom CareBear costume, and several other things to do. In my prayer time, my mind got distracted. I started to actually talk to God about the silly costume. God and I have had many a talk over the last few years, and by now I just talk to him like I would a close friend. I felt so silly though mentioning that costume request and my thoughts on how to get started. I remember shaking my head and apologizing to Him. I said, "I'm sorry, that isn't important. I need to focus on the more important things to concern you with. Let's talk about my friend who is having health issues....... I preceded to return to my important prayer matters. That was it. I thought no more about that, until in true Dani Marie fashion a little three-foot blond put me in my place. 

We leave for school around 6:30 every morning. I'm an early bird, my daughter not so much. I get ready and then at the last possible minute get her up and attempt to get her moving. On Thursday of this week, we were running a few minutes late and I hurried her out the door. Then it happened. 

"Dani Marie? Come on baby, what are you doing? Come on and get in." 

She was standing completely still in the driveway and looking straight up. 

"Look Momma! Look what God did just for me!!!!

You sweet ol' God! Thank you for making pink clouds for me today!" 

I looked up and sure enough the sunrise was beautiful. The clouds were a mixture of the most beautiful pinks and purples. I didn't notice before she mentioned it. I hadn't taken the time to notice. 

"Baby, they are beautiful! Why do you think God did those this morning?" I was prompting her to talk about what a wonderful, powerful creator He is, since that is what our last AWANA lesson was about. But she had a better answer...

"Momma, God knows that PINK is my favorite color! He loves me and he wanted to make MY favorite color clouds just for ME! He's such a sweet ol' God!" 

You know what? She is right. I never thought of it that way. I tend to think of God as the big, powerful, sovereign God that He is. Even though He is all those things, the Creator of the universe, the Designer of every good and perfect thing, the King of all Kings, the Healer of all hurts, He is still a God who cares about our favorite color. Adults can tend to forget how truly personal our God can get. Kids don't. They get it. She got it. God cares just as much about what our favorite color is, our little moments of joy, our daily lives as He does our problems and our "important requests". 

Dani Marie truly knew that God had made that sunrise just for her. To make her happy and fill her morning with pleasure, in her mind, was His purpose. The saddest part is that I never slowed down to notice until she said that. See normally the sky is blue, not pink. My favorite color is blue. Every Single Day that sky is blue, and I have never stopped to thank him for it. The one morning we saw a pink sky, Dani Marie noticed. She noticed, and she thanked God with all the excitement in the world. Her favorite color was just once, and she was so grateful. My favorite is an ongoing occurrence, and I am too busy to be mindful. 

The point of all this is to say...

God cares about YOU. YOU. Just as YOU are. We know God sent His Son to die for the world, but sometimes we forget that if it had only been me in the world, He still would have done it. He is that personal. He loves us that much. That blows my mind. He WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT EVERY DETAIL. The CareBear costumes were something He wanted me to talk to him about. I didn't have to skip those, if they were on my mind and something that concerned me, He wanted to hear. 

So, last night..... I told him all my plans for my attempt at "making a costume". We had a good laugh, God and I, in the store when I decided I should stick with fabric glue instead of a needle and thread. And after two hours of cutting felt, gluing a sunshine, petals, and clouds, to colorful sweatshirts, I thanked him. For listening to me rant about fabric choices, calming my nerves about having to make it "perfect", and most of all giving me a precious little girl to make the costume for. The perfect girl for me.... one who thanks God for his pink sunrises and requests a custom made CareBear Funshine costume that is sold nowhere (not even online!) to keep my life in perspective and full. 

Love y'all! Check out the sunrise this week, who knows God just might paint your favorite color when you need it most. 

Chapter 41- Just a Juice Box

Hey y'all!!! I hope you are all settling into the routine of the school year. Between work, grad school, parenting, and other responsibilities we are staying very busy. It's a great kind of busy.

Dani Marie is as full of life as ever! She is in her third year of dance lessons, learning to write her name, and enjoying her new Bible class at church.

Today has been the most wonderful day. Why????? Just a juice box....

It started earlier today, I was thinking about sonograms. I saw one today that belonged to a friend, and I was amazed. I looked at the tiny features in awe of the amazement of creation. For a split second, I wondered what it must be to look at your own image of the baby growing inside you. I quickly pushed the thought of mommy hood curiosity from my mind and went about my evening.

The magical moment happened when I was picking Dani Marie up from her Wednesday night Bible class. She is in the Cubbie class, which consists of 16 pre-schoolers. (Bless those sweet teachers!) I stood in line making casual conversation with a few other moms. Dani Marie's teacher came out and handed me her new book. Then it happened. The teacher informed me that there would be a snack rotation. She asked if I would mind sending snacks for next week's meeting. She said nothing much just a juice box and a small snack. She suggested Goldfish or crackers of some kind. I assured her I would be glad to help.

She walked back in the room and shut the door. I couldn't believe it! I know this might seem like nothing much, but it was such an amazing moment for me. You see, for years I have been envious of snack schedules. Isn't that silly? Of all things.

I spent years coaching my niece's little league. I would always watch the "cooler moms". The ones with the coolers full of Gatorade and Little Debbie cakes. Someone belonged to them. Really belonged to them. They weren't just borrowed from someone else.
For years I have written notes to parents of my students asking for party snacks. It never fails that I have a super mom who agrees to send some delicious homemade cupcakes or make special brownies. I always look at those moms as they bring in the treats. I think how amazing it must be to have someone belong to you. Your own child to make Halloween or Christmas party treats for, not just students you borrow for a portion of the day.
For years, I would watch the band parents dish out pizza and popcorn at the concession stand. I worked duties of my own because of my job as a coach, but not because someone belonged to me. Those band moms with the buttons serving the pizza, they were on snack duty because one of those band members belonged to them.

Those are the "mommy" things I longed for most. I mean the sonograms are amazing! I'm sure there is nothing like seeing your own. It's the "mommy" things that come after that have always been the most amazing to me. The way all these snack moms always seemed to have such full lives. They often look tired and scattered. The cupcakes are not always perfect. Sometimes they arrive to school smashed. The band moms don't have perfect hair, but they are often drenched in sweat from slinging greasy pizza. The cooler moms, well sometimes they would even forget to bring the right number for the entire team. It didn't matter though, it was just the fact that their name was on a list to serve because someone belonged to them.

So tonight...... someone belongs to me! For the first time, I'm officially in charge of a snack. I mean it was not all typed up or even official. It was just a casual request to provide "just a juice box" and some crackers, but to me it might as well have been a crown. I smiled all the way to the car. I am so thankful for the opportunity I have been given.

I never saw Dani Marie's face on a sonogram, or two pink lines on test to let me know she was on the way, but I don't need those things to be her mommy.
What I did get, what I do have, is the opportunity to bring snack cakes and juice boxes to her little friends as they learn about Jesus. Why???? Because she belongs to me.... This precious, beautiful, tiny girl belongs to me. Such a a reminder that I belong to HIM and he certainly knows how to heal my heart in the most unexpected ways.

Love y'all!

Chapter 40-Today Could Be the Day!

Hey Everybody! Two blogs in one month??? Can you believe that ? This time of year always gives me so much to think/talk about.....

This is one of those blog entries where my mothering and teaching overlap. Some of your children will be starting school for the first time this year! Can you believe that? Where did the time go, right? Some of your children will be moving on to the next grade. Some of your babies will be seniors? How can this be? Even still, some of your babies will be headed to college in a few DAYS! What?????

For so many reasons this school year is a special one for me. My sweet nephew will be in Kindergarten. My first class will be seniors in high school. Which is just insane! They should still be little! I am also moving back to second grade.... (my favorite!)

All this is making me reflect on a special story.....

   I was teaching first grade for the first time when I had a student, we will call him Tim. Tim was not from around here. He moved here to live with grandparents, and he had missed a lot of instruction in Kindergarten. Some students come to first grade reading, others are ready to learn to read, and others are a little behind. Tim was one of those kids who needed much more help. He still didn't know all of his letters and hardly any of their sounds. I was a 22-year-old kid who was learning as I taught. Listening to kids read who were improving rapidly was easy and fun. I could see so much growth and immediate improvement. Listening to Tim read was a little different. I'm sure you parents can relate to what it sounds like when a reader is first starting. Sometimes it can be (ah....I hate to say it, but a bit of a chore).

"Th-Th-The d-o-g- dog ru-ru-run-runs-f-f-f-f-a-fa-fa-fa-s-t-fast."

You can feel tempted to help them along, especially if it's late and they still need a bath, teeth brushed, etc.

For most kids, that choppy sentence soon comes out a little smoother and the listening becomes easier.

"The dog ru-runs fa-st-fast."

As a teacher, I was determined to listen to each child read often. I would assess progress and reassign more challenging leveled readers. For my struggling readers, I would listen daily. This was incredibly time consuming, but I could see it paying off. Except with Tim. He just couldn't get it. It was so hard for him to get through even the shortest words. We read together every single day. He would get so upset and frustrated when he missed a letter or sound.
At the end of the year, Tim was still far behind his classmates. I met with his family and cried. It would have been easier to just give him to another teacher. It seemed like he might not ever get it. I had some kids reading small chapter books, some kids reading leveled flat books, and I had Tim. He had learned his alphabet and his sounds, almost. It was time to make a decision. Should I send Tim to another teacher for the next year? I couldn't. I just felt like we weren't finished yet. By this point I had invested hours and hours listening to his reading. He had yet to make it through an entire book.
I kept Tim. I knew we weren't finished. I prayed so much for that child. I knew God had given him to me for a reason, and I couldn't pass him to someone else the next year.
I gathered material for him to work on in the summer. I did my own research all summer long. I learned so much that summer about reading, phonics, and fluency.
In August, there we were. Tim, fifteen other students, and I ready to begin a new year. Tim still struggled. It still took so much time to listen to his reading. I would call other students up and they would breeze through the first flat readers with little trouble. Tim would try, and he would get some words correct. He still was not making it through a reader. Every single day we read. He would hang his head when he missed the words, and I always said the same thing.
"It's ok. We'll try again tomorrow."
And every day we tried.
He started improving slowly, but improving just the same.
Then about January, it happened. This is fourteen months after Tim and I first started reading.....
He was reading a paper book about a fox. I will never forget it. He was getting the words. Sounding them out, calling sight words, and slowly getting them.
"Th-the f-o-x in-s-o-ck-socks is...."
He read the book and as he got to the last page his voice started to shake. He was so excited.
"He-r-a-n in his -s-o-cks-socks."
That was the last sentence. Then the sweetest moment of my teaching career happened.
He looked up at me. His big brown eyes were full of tears. He screamed.
"Today is the DAY! Today is the day that I'm a reader."
It felt like time stopped for just a moment. I will never forget that moment, his eyes, his voice, his excitement. What came so easily for his classmates, what he had worked so hard for, finally he had read a book. I think the book had only nine pages. Each page had one sentence, but it didn't matter. It could have been a novel, all he knew was that he had finished a book with zero help.
It was then and there that I decided there is nothing more important than daily one-on-one time with a child. All those days, hours, paid off. Tim continued to grow. I would love to say he never struggled again, but that is not true. It was always hard for Tim, but he never lost that excitement. He worked hard. He passed that year, and he has passed every year after. He is now in middle school. He never fails to come and hug my neck when I see him out.
Tim has probably forgotten about that day, and he may eventually forget about me. I will never forget that day, and I won't forget about Tim. He taught me so much more than I could have taught him.

If your child is starting preschool, you will have plenty of opportunity to listen to short, choppy reading over the next few years. It can be so easy to put it off or let your mind wander. The best gift you can give your child is your time. Call me crazy, but I have learned fancy workbooks, computers, and rigorous curriculum don't teach kids to read. Someone who is willing to sit and listen is what teaches kids to read.
I hope your child has a great teacher this year. The very best teacher they can have, however, is you.
People call me with questions about reading instruction. It's really no big secret or fancy formula. It's reading. It's reading over and over and over. When you are listening to your child, put your phone down. Stop making a grocery list in your mind. Just listen. Listen closely to the sounds they miss....the ones they get correct every time.... Use that to help you help them. Make sure you soak in those moments. You never know, today could be the day.
K-1st parents-Today could be the day they are a reader....
6th grade parents-Listen carefully as they try out the new instruments in preparation for 6th grade band. After-all today could be the day they are a drummer.
Read bible stories, say prayers, answer biblical questions-Today could be the day they are a Christian.
High school parents-Listen to all the stories they tell you about their newest boyfriend-Today could be the day they fall in love.

You never know. The little things turn into the big things. You look back and you remember the big moments. The true joy comes from being present in all the little moments leading up to those big ones.

I read a quote the other day,
"Our children are only ever lent to us. We never know just how long we will be able to keep them for. So kiss them, cuddle them, praise them, and hold them tightly. Most of all tell them you love them every single day."

This is so true.

Side note- If you are the parent of a struggler, don't give up on them. It may seem like your child will never learn, but that is not true. They will learn. They will grow. It may not be easy, it may not be to the extent you had hoped, but they will learn. If they mess up, then try again tomorrow. If they hang their head in disappointment or frustration, try again tomorrow. Make it very clear to your child that you are willing to listen every............single...........day.

Teaching is a rewarding and challenging job, parenting is much more challenging and even more rewarding.

Love y'all!

I hope you all have a fantastic school year! I'm so excited to meet my next crew of students. Before I know it, I will turn around and they will be graduating. Life sure flies by.

Chapter 39-What if she wasn't?

Hey y'all!!!!!

    I have been thinking about this blog for a while, but I had to find the time to sit down and write it. A busy, potty-trained (Clap for Jesus), on-the-go three year old, summer school, and gallbladder surgery have taken most of my summer.  Tonight, I have time and something to share with you guys.

   As most of you know, I'm an elementary teacher. God has allowed me to make a career out of doing something I love. I used to think becoming a mother would someday make me a better teacher, but the truth is being a teacher makes me a better mother. I see my daughter through different eyes, seasoned eyes. Eyes that have seen.....

   Dani Marie is easy to love. She is bubbly, smart, funny, and sweet. She has a vocabulary that could rival a third grader and her closet is packed full of adorable smocked outfits. Everywhere we go people comment on her pretty dress, beautiful eyes, or ever-present bow. She makes them smile. She is cute and clean, and easy to love.....but what if she wasn't?

   Over the last three years, I have had several moments that completely overtake me. I want to share one of those with you.

  Mini-cheer camp is quite the tradition in our small town. I remember going when I was a little girl. "The real cheerleaders" who are hometown royalty host a fundraiser mini-camp for the little girls. Girls go and spend a day learning a cheer, chant, and dance with the cheerleaders. They can get a t-shirt and even their own pom-poms. For years, I gave out the forms with little thought, until I had a student change my perspective.

 I announced to my students I had mini-cheer camp forms and asked all the girls to come get one. They started talking and giggling and each one made their way to my desk. I overheard two girls talking about the camp and how they were going to order pom-poms this year. They reminisced over how much fun they had the previous year. Then it happened. My attention turned to another little girl. She had the most solemn look on her face. It was almost like a sadness from way down deep. I asked the class to line up for the bathroom, and I stood to make my way to her. She got up, took the form and simply tossed it in the trash on her way out the door. I called her to my desk after we returned and privately asked her about the incident. She told me, "Mrs. Martin that camp cost over $20.00 and that is a lot of money. There is no way I could EVER go to something like that." All the sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. I don't know why this child and this moment, but I had such an epiphany. This would have been Dani Marie.

What if Dani Marie's birth mother had not chosen adoption? She shared with me briefly the one time we met that she wanted to get Dani Marie a better life. I can still hear her exact words to me, "I just can't. I can't bring her into this. I can't take care of her, pay her bills, we already struggle to get by. It's just not a good situation. It's not. I can't bring her into this." She wanted more. She wanted Dani Marie to have a way out. She made sure Dani Marie got a way out.....but what if she didn't?

 Dani Marie would have been sitting in a classroom listening to other girls talk about a cheer camp, dance lessons, or some other event that seems so significant to an eight year old...knowing she would, "never be able to go to something like that." My heart literally ripped. Tears began to pour from my eyes. It took me a few minutes to regain my composure.

 I came home crying and telling Daniel about the ordeal, and he had the perfect solution. He treated the student and her sister to cheer camp. They were beyond excited and soaked up every single minute of the experience. It was such a blessing to see.

 Even in a town like ours, there are kids who go hungry, have never been to the movies, worry about where they will sleep, and learn to accept the reality that they won't "ever be able to do that" when it comes to extra events.

I have met precious souls who went out of their way to provide field trip scholarships, extra supplies, shopped for Angel Tree gifts, and so much more behind the scenes. These people are my heroes. It's easy to look at people who give and think that's great. When you realize that one decision made differently and that child in need would be your own....that's gut check time. That's when those people who give become so much more.

Dani Marie is easy to love. She looks adorable with her pretty blond curls and big, bright blue eyes....but what if she wasn't? Easy to love? What if she was dirty? What if she never had her hair combed much less a large bow. What if she looked dingy or smelled badly? What if she was not bubbly and friendly? What if as a defense mechanism she was cold and pretended not to care? What if she wore too small tattered clothes? What if she were not easy to love?

 There are people who would pass her by without eye contact. There are people who would judge her by the circumstances beyond her control. Then....there are those people who would love her anyway. Those people are my heroes. Are you one of those? Do you grumble at the thought of buying a few extra packs of crayons to share with your child's classmates? Do you discourage your child from being friends with certain children? I hope that none of you do.

 It's hard to believe in a community like ours there are children who don't have enough to eat, never had a sausage biscuit, or even slept in a bed of their own, but it's the case. I have seen it. I know those kids. You know those kids. Some of you maybe even whisper a "Bless their little heart" when you see them. That isn't enough. It's not, because that kid...could easily have been mine. If she wasn't asleep in our house with her twelve Care bears in her princess bedding.....that would be her. And I would hope and pray somebody would care enough to love her anyway.

I'm sure your child is easy to love. I am sure she is clean and adorable, but what if she wasn't? What if he wasn't? This reality has made me a better person. It has made me generous and more compassionate. I want to challenge you when you see a child in need, do more than bless their heart....lend a hand. Do something extra.

Love y'all so much!
Ashlee

Chapter 38-When it Rains

   Let's be real, some days are hard. Some weeks are rough. Some months just aren't the best. It's fine to force a smile, in fact it's pretty brave. I have learned over the last several years that it's a wonderful trait to be able to put on a happy face, but I also have learned that it's perfectly ok to have a stinky day every now and then. I used to think that bad days or sad feelings were selfish. I thought they meant I just wasn't seeking God like I should. The fact is that just isn't true. God's word tells us He is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed.


   Let me back up.....

   Infertility is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. We spent years and years fighting the monster that is infertility. Three years ago, adopting Dani Marie allowed us to experience victory over so many things infertility had stolen from our family. We are now so thankful for the infertility road that led us to the most wonderful gift. I have said before that not long after we were given Dani Marie, I sat in her nursery and I rocked and thanked God for infertility. I thanked him for every failed treatment, every hurt, every closed door that led us to her. The very thing I had cried out to him about I now count as a blessing. It was the only way to get to Dani Marie. I still feel that way, I will always feel that way. That doesn't, however, make me invincible to pain.
   One of the things about infertility that can be hard to swallow is the loneliness. It makes you feel alone. In a room of women who have pregnancy and labor stories it makes you feel different. No matter how hard you try to listen and discuss things like sonograms or the first time they hear a child's heartbeat, there is an awkward loneliness felt deep in your heart.  I prayed years ago that God would always keep me sensitive and genuine. I never wanted to become bitter or jealous. He has always allowed me to celebrate the pregnancies and deliveries of so many precious friends of mine.
   Dani Marie came at a wonderful time in my life. She saved me in so many ways. My body was exhausted, my heart was torn, and my spirit was crushed. I have been living in kind of a fantasy world for a few years where  I didn't have to think about hormones, increased cancer risks, or blood counts. Recently, I have not felt well. I knew in the back of my mind that I would have to return back and address the problem, but I put it off as long as possible. It would have been perfect if we had adopted Dani Marie and the story just ended there. It didn't, it doesn't. After a difficult conversation or two with my doctor and a few months of attempting hormone regulation, it's time to make decisions about the future. After much prayer and seeking God's will I have decided that what is most important is me being healthy for my daughter. I want to be around to see her babies, maybe even her babies have babies. That more than likely means making the decision to have a hysterectomy very soon. I'm fine with that decision....most days.
    Today was one of those rare days where I felt unsure and sad. I feel almost selfish saying it. I started this blog a few years ago to reach out to others and tell our story. It wouldn't be fair of me to only tell the good parts. I wouldn't be much of a witness, if I led people to believe that we never had hard days or hurt. I want God to use our story, all of it, to help others. It felt like ALL DAY today there was talk of all the things that most women can easily relate to. A friend sharing precious stories of hearing the first heartbeat, talk of birth announcements, stories of how experiencing childbirth brings couples closer, etc. The list goes on, and on, and on. Most days these stories are just that...precious stories of one of the most amazing miracles God has given his people, but today they felt more like daggers. Unintentional reminders that something is broken or different about me. It made me realize that I will soon seal the deal, and I will never be able to relate to all these amazing, exciting, experiences. It felt overwhelmingly lonely. I smiled and I did my best to take part in the discussions, but when I got alone in my car I cried. I wish I didn't. I wish I would have been above that, but I wasn't. In fact I had a downright meltdown for a minute. It was pouring down rain and the day had just been yucky. A yucky, rainy day in every way. I started talking to Jesus. I told him I was so thankful, but at the same time felt so isolated. He did what he is so good at doing. He listened. It got really quiet for a few minutes and then I heard my Christian praise and worship music playing. I turned it up.

"The sun comes up
It's a new day dawning
It's time to sing
Your song again
Whatever may pass and
whatever lies before me
Let me be singing
when the evening comes
Bless the Lord O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship your holy name.....

    I sang that precious song and held fast to "Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me.....
I reminded myself that I was created by God for a purpose. My story was handwritten by the Lord.
I ran in to get the sweetest, smiling, little girl. She had on her polka dot rainboots. She loves a rainy day! She loves to splash in the puddles. She looked up at me with a sparkle in her eye and said, "Guess what Mommy? It's raining!" I held that baby so close, and I cried a different kind of tears.
    I will never know what it feels like to give birth. I won't ever get to see my husband's brown eyes or my freckles combine on a child we create together, the ability to hear the heartbeat of a child growing inside me will never be mine, but I have something so much more perfectly made for me. I have a daughter who doesn't have my eyes, but she is teaching me to see the world through hers. When I see a yucky, rainy, miserable day, she sees huge puddles to splash in. I could sit around and feel lonely or sad about what I was not chosen to experience, or I can splash in the puddle of the miracle that was chosen just for me.

    If your babies came to you easily.... If you got pregnant quickly or accidentally..... Thank God for your blessings. He certainly smiled on you.

   If you have known the heartache of infertility, miscarriage, or loss....I'm praying for you. I know how lonely you can feel. There are no words that can magically take away your pain, but I hope you find comfort in knowing that God has a plan for you. He loves you. He loves you, oh so much!

   If your are blessed enough to know motherhood through the miracle of adoption, remember that God made your family special. He knit your child together in her/his birthmother's womb, and then by hand He wove that child into your heart.

Love y'all!

Chapter 37: Do you want to be friends?

      Well, I feel the need to reintroduce myself! It has been so long since I have written. I have recently decided if we could find some way to bottle the energy of a two-year old and sell it...we would be RICH! It is hard to believe that Dani Marie will be turning 3 YEARS OLD in April. We have a huge birthday blow-out already in the works. Rumor has it that Minnie and Mickey Mouse will be making an appearance!
    Dani Marie is changing and growing every single day. She recently won the Best Personality award at a local charity pageant. I almost felt it was unfair to the other contestants, since she was the only one actually dancing, spinning, waving, and hugging other contestants on stage! A little lady in the crowd even commented, "The little blond has personality in the bag!" She still loves life. She loves dancing, singing, (Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the bed is forever stuck in my head) playing with her puppy, telling silly fairy tales, and going to church!
    One of the sweetest things she is currently doing is making friends. She is at that perfect age where she really loves to meet new playmates. She will hug them and tell them they are her, "best friend"! I felt so touched the first time she told me, only to find out she had given the best friend title to her dad, cousin, and elderly neighbor earlier that same day. It is still sweet, however, because at that moment she means it. It has really had me reflecting on true friendships and the qualities I hope her "best friends" will possess.
   It's truly amazing if we reflect back on our lives the people who have almost coincidentally crossed our paths, but turns out it was certainly God's hand who allowed the meeting to take place. I can't help but tear up when I think of my very best friend in the world, Michelle. My dad was working at a local grocery store, and we went to church with my Kindergarten teacher. He dropped me off in my classroom. I was five years old and the very first student to arrive. I climbed into the loft, and I waited. A few minutes after I arrived a little blond walked in. I quickly came bopping down the stairs and introduce myself.
"Hi! I'm Ashlee, do you want to be my friend?"
I am so thankful that she said yes! We have now been best friends for 25 years! During these years we have sometimes grown apart, gotten involved with different activities, gotten busy with life, etc. but we have always been just a phone call away. There were times we would go a month without talking, but we could call each other in tears the moment something happened. In these last 25 years, we have both dealt with some pretty sour situations. Life threw each of us our own tragedies, disappointments, and blessings, as well. I remember being in the car with her when I found out I passed my test to become a teacher! We cried tears of joy. I remember her holding me in tears when my body just wouldn't hold up to more fertility treatments. I remember her calling to tell me about a bad breakup, and I was ready to go give that boy a piece of my mind! I laugh and then I cry when I think of all the life memories we share. The thing that stands out the most to me is the prayers I have sent up for her. I know she has returned the favor. I had not a clue that fall morning when I first invited her to be my "friend" what our lives had in store. I could have never guessed that she would become more a piece of my heart than just a friend.
  God knew! He knew exactly what he was doing. He knew we would need each other.
  I have been blessed in this life with so many dear friends. I have some true friends who have loved me unconditionally.
  There is another friend who I first knew as a friend of a friend. Our circles kind of overlapped. We are as different as night and day. We have hardly anything in common, but we compliment each other so well. She was the one who called me late the night Dani was born to let me know of this tiny girl's unexpected birth. That phone call, that friendship, played a large part in allowing me to find motherhood. That was no coincidence. God placed us in each other's lives for a reason. I am forever thankful for this precious friend who has become more like family
  I have another friend who is my prayer partner. I had no clue when we started working together, what a large role this woman would play in my life. We have shared tears, prayer requests, and scripture on so many occasions. It's amazing the positive things that have happened in our lives since we joined forces as a prayer team. God knew exactly what He had planned when he allowed our paths to cross.
  When I think of these special "best" friends, I cry tears of joy. They are parts of my heart. I hope and pray that Dani Marie finds these types of friendships. I hope she will keep that big personality, and invite others into her life without fear of rejection. I hope she finds a friend who will listen to her future plans,  laugh with her, and remind her how beautiful she is after that first heartbreak leaves her feeling unsure. I hope and pray that she will have these friends, but also that she will be a friend.
   I want to encourage you to reflect back on the friendships in your life. I hope like me, you have been blessed abundantly in the friendship department. Whether you have fifty "best" friends or you can not think of a single person who has been a true friend to you, I have hope for you. There is someone who is the true definition of a best friend. He will always be available when you need an ear to listen. In fact, this friend is longing to have daily, intimate conversations with you. He will comfort you and wipe your tears. He will help direct your path when you are confused about your direction.
  I like to think that I would have the strength to take a bullet for these ladies I have mentioned and  some others, but I know without a doubt that our "Best Friend" laid down his life for us. It tells us in the word, Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13 What a friendship! I read a quote not long ago that said, "A friend who understands your tears is much more valuable than a bunch of friends who only know your smile." There is a lot of truth in this. No one understands every tear we have ever cried except for Jesus.
   I want to challenge you today to evaluate the friendships in your life.
1. If you have a really good friend, text or call them today. Thank them for what they have been in your life.
2. Make it your goal to be a better friend. Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17
3. If you don't know my "Best Friend", Jesus, I challenge you to invite Him in to your life today. You will be so glad you did.

I am including this picture! It makes me giggle.

P.S. A huge congratulations to my sweet friend I talked about earlier, Michelle. She actually called me last night to share the news that she is engaged!

I love y'all!