Chapter 43-One for the Record Books

Can we believe it is already 2016???? Wow! It seems like time passes so quickly lately. Funny story before I get to the heart of this blog....

Dani Marie has become obsessed with bald headed babies. She loves them! She likes to see pictures of herself when she was a baby. We visited a friend's church recently, and well let's just say I could have crawled under the pew. The episode went like this...

The preacher stepped out before the church and began the service with a prayer. I was sitting on the end of the pew, Daniel was next to me, and Dani Marie was further down the pew stacking hymnals. I bowed my head..

Dani Marie: "Pssst....Momma! Momma!"

I opened my eyes and looked down there to see her pointing at the preacher.

Dani Marie: "Momma, why does he have a bald baby head? Look a baby head on a man!"

I immediately tried to get her to be quiet. She started laughing because she realized she got a reaction out of us.

Me: "Ssshhhh!!!" No! Don't say that. Stop pointing.

Dani Marie: "I'm showing you who I'm talking about. Him! The man with the bald head like a baby! It's so silly!"

We were so red!!! She didn't realize she was being rude! She told me later that she just thought he had a cute baby head on a man body. Bless her...

Now, for the meat of this blog...

A certain verse has been coming up a ton lately. The Lord has used several sermons, devotions, and seminars to bring this verse to my mind over the past few weeks.

1 Corinthians 13:5- (Love) It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

It's that last part that keeps getting me...."no record of wrongs"

I think for Christians, people, me that is the hardest part. The keeping "no record of wrongs"...
I've been in a little bit of a funk lately. Nothing major, no reason to be.... specifically.... It just feels like I have gotten my feelings hurt a few times.
When someone hurts our feelings, it's hard to forget. If it has happened more than once, it's extremely hard to forget. Over time, I've begun to build walls. It feels only natural to want to protect ourselves from pain. It's not biblical, it's just not. I've had to do some repenting of this lately.
Why? I used to live by the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." That just made good sense. I felt justified in "loving my neighbor" until I got hurt, upset, or betrayed. Then it just felt fair to build a wall or hold a grudge. I guess you could say to "keep a record" of the incident.

Something Dani Marie did the other night at a ballgame really humbled me.
She and a buddy were playing at the basketball game. A little boy from Corinth started to play with them. He was playing pretty rough, and he even hit her friend in the arm hard. He hit him on purpose. They were both crying and came and told us. I told her not to play with him anymore if he couldn't play nice. Several minutes went by, and then I noticed they were playing together again. I thought to myself, "He just hit them! Why are they playing with him?"
I went and asked Dani Marie about it. She simply said, "But Mom, he is sorry. He won't be mean again." That easy. She simply just forgave him, and more than that...she let it go. She kept no record of what he had done.
The next night I attended a marriage conference with Kirk Cameron. He pointed out that true love keeps no record of wrongs. There it was again! That verse....I think it is  hard. That is the hardest part of love. Whether it's a spouse who has betrayed you, a co-worker who has gossiped about you, or a friend who let you down. We (I) feel justified in keeping a record. I mean after all they hurt me! I'd be a fool to let it happen again. I can forgive, but just not forget. This is a wrong way of thinking.

I think holding on to those records can harden our hearts over time. I prayed about this yesterday. I told the Lord that surely He could understand my hesitation to trust people who have hurt me. I explained my point of view and expressed my hesitation about "forgetting" the hurt. How could they hurt me? I'm good. I'm honest, I'm not perfect, but.....
He didn't speak to me audibly. It was just that still small voice that overwhelmed my heart.
It was almost as if I felt him say, "But, I am." "Perfect, I am."
My mind drifted to all the times I have failed. The things I had done, said, or thought that were far from glorifying to the Lord. I remembered the times my faith had wavered. Then I saw... a blank piece of paper. I felt like He was reminding me that although I had hurt Him time and time again... it was even my sins that held Him to the cross...He kept no record. He had absolutely no record of any of the sins I had been forgiven of. I'm sure He knows that I will fail Him again tomorrow and the day after that, but He still forgives and forgets every single time. He does this because He Loves Me. And Love keeps no record of wrongs.
It was a big pill to swallow. I spent some time on my face before Him. I had to forgive...and forget. I let go of grudges I have held for years. I took down my walls. It was a little scary, the thought of leaving myself vulnerable to pain. I'm not saying I will never get hurt again, I'm sure I will. I do know that I will no longer live in fear of pain or carrying the burden of past scars. I think it's probably no surprise that this morning I woke up feeling lighter than I have in a long time. The burden of bitterness was a heavy load to carry, and I'm thankful for the reminders this week that allowed me to lay it at His feet.
I want to challenge you tonight. Has someone hurt you? Have they broken your heart, betrayed your trust, or simply made you mad? Let it go....Forgive them. More importantly rip the record book.
It's true you know....Love it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love y'all,
Ashlee