Hey there y'all! I feel like it has literally been forever and a day since I have updated or written a blog. Quick recap, we just started middle school! Can you believe? How is it even possible for our #tinygirlbigmiracle to be in middle school? She ABSOLUTELY loves it! She is thriving in 5th grade, and we are here for it.
Now, straight to the heart of today's blog. Change. They say, it's a good thing. They say the only constant is change. Personally, I've never really been a fan. I'm a routine girl. Any of y'all out there? Live for a schedule? Cling to the comfort of familiarity? ME! I've lived in the same town since I was born, had for the most part the same friends since forever, and until recently the same job in the same place my entire adult life. And it was GOOD. It's all been good. That's the thing about change, it's scary. I am not ever the first in line to sign up for something scary. I feel like there are mainly two types of people, the risk-taking thrill seekers who thrive on the excitement of the unknown (insert Daniel Martin :) ) and then the me's of the world. We are over here just easing into the day in the same way at the same time and get uneasy when our normal road to work is closed for a detour, type of thing. Which one are you? Or are you somewhere in between? The past few months, my comfort zone has morphed into a launching pad for change. And you know what? It's been not just a good thing, but a great thing. It's grown me in ways already that I would have never grown in my comfort zone. Funny how that happens.
The Lord works ALL things for good for those who love Him. We know this. I'm still in the bad habit after all this time, of suggesting to Him what I think is best. Anyone else? I like to offer him little suggestions or "ideas" for how to work things. I'm sure by this point He just rolls His eyes or shakes His head. I love being a teacher. I truly feel like it's my calling. I have invested in the lives of so many littles, and they have made my days and years. I walked into my job at my former school as a kid myself, and I grew up there. I planned to retire there. Keywords....I planned. Yeah, about that. Somebody remind me to stop doing that. God's plans aren't my plans, and His ways are so much higher than mine are. I had a good job that I loved. I was really comfortable in the role, and then I wasn't. I was actually looking for a job for a friend, and I stumbled upon a job posting. It was a position I had never taught before at a different school. I immediately felt butterflies after reading the posting. Then in true Ashlee Martin fashion, I dismissed them. I tried to put it out of my mind. Why? Because, it was different. Mainly because I had a good job that I loved. I was content. The thing about contentment, it's not what we are called to be. We were literally made to THRIVE. The Lord continued to call that posting to my mind. A few other things played out over the next couple of days, and I just knew in my heart it was time to make a change and follow that tug. I reached out and set up an interview. I arrived early, no surprise to any of you who know me. I sat in my car, and I prayed for God to guide me. I fully intended to walk in, realize I made a mistake and go back to my good job that I loved and had enjoyed for fifteen years being more content than ever. That's not quite how it went down. I walked in, had a comfortable conversation with two amazing administrators, walked around a campus that is quickly beginning to feel like home, and I felt an overwhelming peace. I didn't understand it. What? I have attended and taught at the same school forever. It was literally all I knew. And things were good. Sure, maybe somedays it was more survive than thrive, but no complaints. I left the interview and within a couple of days, the wheels were in motion for a MAJOR life change. I remember thinking, "What am I doing? Is this crazy? I love my people, I love my kids, and I LOVE how familiar I am with a good job that I'm blessed to have." The thing about comfort zones, you can't grow there. I had become very comfortable and content. God had something for me and it was somewhere I wasn't. That's the scary thing about contentment. A horrible job is easy to leave. If you are miserable, well you know that change has to happen. It's when things are good, when you have lots of good days, that you don't really see that change is necessary or the need for it. The Lord has grown me though, and I at least now realize that when He keeps tugging at my heart, I better just stop and listen. I had to have really hard conversations with people that I have the upmost respect for and love. I felt like I was leaving my home and my family. I almost backed out at the last minute. I remember praying, "God, I don't hate my job. It's good. I love my students. Are we sure?" If you have been a passenger of mine, you know KLOVE radio is a regular in my car. That same morning, these lyrics began to play....
"Let your weary spirit rest
Lay down what's good and find what's best"
So, yeah. I heard Him. No need to cue the whale to swallow me up, I knew He needed me to lay down what was good, so I could find what was best. Fast forward two months....I am so thankful for following His call to make a change. I didn't lose my old friends, I still have them. I didn't lose that school that still means so much to me, I still cheer for them. A huge part of my heart still heads that way every single day to the middle school. What I did do, is gain a whole new family. I met students I already love who I would have never known existed. I have grown already professionally by teaching something brand new. I can wholeheartedly say, this was best for me. I'm thankful for a God who didn't make us for good days, but who made us for a divine and unique purpose that is BEST carried out exactly where He calls us to be.
Love y'all!
