Chapter 30 - "No, No, no", - Anguish of My Soul"

Chapter 30 : “No, no, no, - Anguish of My Soul”

 

It has literally been forever since I have written a blog entry. Life with a very active 14 month old leaves little time to do much of anything. I want to update you all on our sweet Dani Marie.

She is into EVERYTHING. She is walking a few steps at a time, and Oh me! Sister loves to talk. She is so chatty! Her first phrase, (proud softball coach moment) was said as we threw a ball to her. She held it up and plain as day said, “I got it!” She now has four of the most precious little teeth, and she knows how to use them. So much has changed over the past few months, but one thing is still the same. She smiles all the time. She never meets a stranger.

Now, we have had to introduce her to , “No, No”. I know, I know, it broke our hearts. She still has that stubborn streak we first saw in the NICU. She means to do what she wants to do. We have to tell her, “No, No” when she is pulling down curtains, trying to eat spiders (long story), throwing things at people, and investigating plug-ins. She puts her head down flat on the floor and proceeds to develop the sweetest crocodile tears. She knows how to work it. This girl is so stubborn. She knows what it means now to give a “kissy”. She refuses to give you one when you ask. We beg her all day for a kiss. She refuses. When we finally give up and leave it alone, she will plant one on us at the most random moments.

Now, for the meat of this blog entry and what God laid on my heart to share. I have been guilty lately of having a big fat pity party for myself. Life has just handed me a few lemons lately, and it has been easy to slide off of the mountain top. I have let my heart stray from the goodness of God and linger on the faulty flesh of people. He has reminded me this week that my faith should always rest in His mercy and not on human flesh. That’s a a tough pill to swallow at times.

Dani Marie continues to be my ever present reminder of not only what God has given me but of Who God is. Last week, I sat on the couch and I just started crying. It had been a busy, hectic day. My feelings were hurt. I sat down on the couch and I started to cry. Dani looked up at me with those crystal eyes almost confused. I told her, “ Dani Marie, Mommy is fine. It’s fine.” I know she doesn’t understand what fine means, but she knows exactly what tears mean. She crawled over to me, patted my leg, and said, “No, No”. I scooped her up, and prayed out loud a prayer of forgiveness. I asked God to forgive me for letting the weight of everyday life get to me. I of all people should know that God is powerful and faithful. I went to my computer and read Chapter 1 and 2 of the blog. It was a wonderful reminder of what I have to be thankful for. I thought back to those not so long ago nights that I cried out when my soul was in anguish. God took care of that, and Dani Marie was exactly right, “No, No”. No tears, no sorrow, no worries, they don’t belong in the heart or on the face of a child of the King.

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

 

God’s ways are not the world’s ways.

My prayer this week is a simple one. I pray that God helps me to say, “No, No” to the worries of this world. My song of worship to him is,

Take my heart Lord, take and seal it,

Seal it for thy courts above!

If you are being weighed down by the earthly things this week, I pray for you. Let’s give it to God. My challenge to you and myself is to…the moment worry, fear, or doubt creep into your mind and heart, simply shake your head and say, “No,No”. There is no room for those things here.

I love y’all!

 

P.S. Happy 4^th of July tomorrow! Be safe! God Bless America!!!!