Chapter 30 : “No, no, no, - Anguish of My Soul”
It has literally been forever since I have written a blog
entry. Life with a very active 14 month old leaves little time to do much of
anything. I want to update you all on our sweet Dani Marie.
She is into EVERYTHING. She is walking a few steps at a time,
and Oh me! Sister loves to talk. She is so chatty! Her first phrase, (proud
softball coach moment) was said as we threw a ball to her. She held it up and
plain as day said, “I got it!” She now has four of the most precious little
teeth, and she knows how to use them. So much has changed over the past few
months, but one thing is still the same. She smiles all the time. She never
meets a stranger.
Now, we have had to introduce her to , “No, No”. I know, I
know, it broke our hearts. She still has that stubborn streak we first saw in
the NICU. She means to do what she wants to do. We have to tell her, “No, No”
when she is pulling down curtains, trying to eat spiders (long story), throwing
things at people, and investigating plug-ins. She puts her head down flat on
the floor and proceeds to develop the sweetest crocodile tears. She knows how
to work it. This girl is so stubborn. She knows what it means now to give a “kissy”.
She refuses to give you one when you ask. We beg her all day for a kiss. She
refuses. When we finally give up and leave it alone, she will plant one on us
at the most random moments.
Now, for the meat of this blog entry and what God laid on my
heart to share. I have been guilty lately of having a big fat pity party for
myself. Life has just handed me a few lemons lately, and it has been easy to
slide off of the mountain top. I have let my heart stray from the goodness of
God and linger on the faulty flesh of people. He has reminded me this week
that my faith should always rest in His mercy and not on human flesh. That’s a
a tough pill to swallow at times.
Dani Marie continues to be my ever present reminder of not
only what God has given me but of Who God is. Last week, I sat on the couch and
I just started crying. It had been a busy, hectic day. My feelings were hurt. I
sat down on the couch and I started to cry. Dani looked up at me with those
crystal eyes almost confused. I told her, “ Dani Marie, Mommy is fine. It’s
fine.” I know she doesn’t understand what fine means, but she knows exactly
what tears mean. She crawled over to me, patted my leg, and said, “No, No”. I
scooped her up, and prayed out loud a prayer of forgiveness. I asked God to
forgive me for letting the weight of everyday life get to me. I of all people
should know that God is powerful and faithful. I went to my computer and read
Chapter 1 and 2 of the blog. It was a wonderful reminder of what I have to be
thankful for. I thought back to those not so long ago nights that I cried out
when my soul was in anguish. God took care of that, and Dani Marie was exactly
right, “No, No”. No tears, no sorrow, no worries, they don’t belong in the
heart or on the face of a child of the King.
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
God’s
ways are not the world’s ways.
My
prayer this week is a simple one. I pray that God helps me to say, “No, No” to
the worries of this world. My song of worship to him is,
Take my
heart Lord, take and seal it,
Seal it
for thy courts above!
If you
are being weighed down by the earthly things this week, I pray for you. Let’s
give it to God. My challenge to you and myself is to…the moment worry, fear, or
doubt creep into your mind and heart, simply shake your head and say, “No,No”.
There is no room for those things here.
I love y’all!
P.S.
Happy 4th of July tomorrow! Be safe! God Bless America!!!!
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