Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Chapter 39-What if she wasn't?

Hey y'all!!!!!

    I have been thinking about this blog for a while, but I had to find the time to sit down and write it. A busy, potty-trained (Clap for Jesus), on-the-go three year old, summer school, and gallbladder surgery have taken most of my summer.  Tonight, I have time and something to share with you guys.

   As most of you know, I'm an elementary teacher. God has allowed me to make a career out of doing something I love. I used to think becoming a mother would someday make me a better teacher, but the truth is being a teacher makes me a better mother. I see my daughter through different eyes, seasoned eyes. Eyes that have seen.....

   Dani Marie is easy to love. She is bubbly, smart, funny, and sweet. She has a vocabulary that could rival a third grader and her closet is packed full of adorable smocked outfits. Everywhere we go people comment on her pretty dress, beautiful eyes, or ever-present bow. She makes them smile. She is cute and clean, and easy to love.....but what if she wasn't?

   Over the last three years, I have had several moments that completely overtake me. I want to share one of those with you.

  Mini-cheer camp is quite the tradition in our small town. I remember going when I was a little girl. "The real cheerleaders" who are hometown royalty host a fundraiser mini-camp for the little girls. Girls go and spend a day learning a cheer, chant, and dance with the cheerleaders. They can get a t-shirt and even their own pom-poms. For years, I gave out the forms with little thought, until I had a student change my perspective.

 I announced to my students I had mini-cheer camp forms and asked all the girls to come get one. They started talking and giggling and each one made their way to my desk. I overheard two girls talking about the camp and how they were going to order pom-poms this year. They reminisced over how much fun they had the previous year. Then it happened. My attention turned to another little girl. She had the most solemn look on her face. It was almost like a sadness from way down deep. I asked the class to line up for the bathroom, and I stood to make my way to her. She got up, took the form and simply tossed it in the trash on her way out the door. I called her to my desk after we returned and privately asked her about the incident. She told me, "Mrs. Martin that camp cost over $20.00 and that is a lot of money. There is no way I could EVER go to something like that." All the sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. I don't know why this child and this moment, but I had such an epiphany. This would have been Dani Marie.

What if Dani Marie's birth mother had not chosen adoption? She shared with me briefly the one time we met that she wanted to get Dani Marie a better life. I can still hear her exact words to me, "I just can't. I can't bring her into this. I can't take care of her, pay her bills, we already struggle to get by. It's just not a good situation. It's not. I can't bring her into this." She wanted more. She wanted Dani Marie to have a way out. She made sure Dani Marie got a way out.....but what if she didn't?

 Dani Marie would have been sitting in a classroom listening to other girls talk about a cheer camp, dance lessons, or some other event that seems so significant to an eight year old...knowing she would, "never be able to go to something like that." My heart literally ripped. Tears began to pour from my eyes. It took me a few minutes to regain my composure.

 I came home crying and telling Daniel about the ordeal, and he had the perfect solution. He treated the student and her sister to cheer camp. They were beyond excited and soaked up every single minute of the experience. It was such a blessing to see.

 Even in a town like ours, there are kids who go hungry, have never been to the movies, worry about where they will sleep, and learn to accept the reality that they won't "ever be able to do that" when it comes to extra events.

I have met precious souls who went out of their way to provide field trip scholarships, extra supplies, shopped for Angel Tree gifts, and so much more behind the scenes. These people are my heroes. It's easy to look at people who give and think that's great. When you realize that one decision made differently and that child in need would be your own....that's gut check time. That's when those people who give become so much more.

Dani Marie is easy to love. She looks adorable with her pretty blond curls and big, bright blue eyes....but what if she wasn't? Easy to love? What if she was dirty? What if she never had her hair combed much less a large bow. What if she looked dingy or smelled badly? What if she was not bubbly and friendly? What if as a defense mechanism she was cold and pretended not to care? What if she wore too small tattered clothes? What if she were not easy to love?

 There are people who would pass her by without eye contact. There are people who would judge her by the circumstances beyond her control. Then....there are those people who would love her anyway. Those people are my heroes. Are you one of those? Do you grumble at the thought of buying a few extra packs of crayons to share with your child's classmates? Do you discourage your child from being friends with certain children? I hope that none of you do.

 It's hard to believe in a community like ours there are children who don't have enough to eat, never had a sausage biscuit, or even slept in a bed of their own, but it's the case. I have seen it. I know those kids. You know those kids. Some of you maybe even whisper a "Bless their little heart" when you see them. That isn't enough. It's not, because that kid...could easily have been mine. If she wasn't asleep in our house with her twelve Care bears in her princess bedding.....that would be her. And I would hope and pray somebody would care enough to love her anyway.

I'm sure your child is easy to love. I am sure she is clean and adorable, but what if she wasn't? What if he wasn't? This reality has made me a better person. It has made me generous and more compassionate. I want to challenge you when you see a child in need, do more than bless their heart....lend a hand. Do something extra.

Love y'all so much!
Ashlee

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