Chapter 20 ( My Joy Comes in the Morning )
I had an incredible experience this week. I guess it was really just one of those regular mom moments that people can take for granted, but for me......it was amazing!
I am still getting in the routine of getting two people ready each day instead of just one. I'm pretty easy and certainly don't spend hours on wardrobe, hair, and makeup each day. The other half of my morning duo, well she is quite the little fashion icon. Well, I have gotten into the swing of our morning schedule for the most part. Monday morning of this week I was meeting a prayer team at our school. Our pastor and student minister, along with several of us have committed to meet once a month and pray for our local schools, students, and teachers. I was running a little ahead of schedule.(surprisingly) Dani Marie and I were both ready and headed toward the door at 6:15. Right as we started to walk out, the most magnificent thing happened.................
She spit up all over my outfit. I know that probably isn't what you were expecting me to say.
I mean, I guess to a lot of people, this would have been an inconvenience at the least. I stood there for a few minutes and just stared at my clothes. This moment brought my heart so much joy. I don't know how to explain it. I just thought to myself, if someone would have told me five months ago that I would be leaving for work and have to change my clothes because a baby, MY baby spit up on them???? My heart just would not have been able to believe it.
So for that moment, I just stood still. Then in my kitchen I dropped down and praised a God who heals. The burden of infertility has become in a matter of months my greatest blessing. The path that I was determined would be the death of me, led me to my life's greatest joy. I thanked the Lord for the tiny girl, who isn't so tiny anymore. There I was..... What a sight! In the kitchen floor, holding Dani Marie, crying like a baby, and praising Jesus for spit-up. That moment reminded me that motherhood was so very real. It wasn't the idea of motherhood that I had longed for, it was the everyday "real" relationship that mothers have with their children. I do love dressing my living baby doll up every morning, (and then again 2 or 3 more times each day) I love that, but what I love even more is being a little late because I have to run in and change clothes because she spits up on me. I asked the Lord to continue to use moments like that one to bring me back down to my knees in praise.
Several verses from Psalm 30 really described everything I was feeling.......
I will extol you, O Lord, for you have drawn me up
and have not let my foes rejoice over me.
2 O Lord my God, I cried to you for help,
and you have healed me.
11 You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
you have loosed my sackcloth
and clothed me with gladness,
12 that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!
And my favorite....
Weeping may endure for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Chapter 19 ( Large and In Charge )
Hello!!!!! I wanted to update you all on how Dani Marie is doing. So much has happened since my last blog entry. We attended the NICU reunion, went for a check-up, and completely skipped a size in diapers. Whew............. This lady has been doing some growing!
We are also really starting to see her personality. There is nothing "little" about it. She already thinks she should be calling all the shots around here. She is laughing out loud! She started with just a tiny little "hee hee" a few weeks ago, but we have now progressed to a full-out chuckle. It is literally the sweetest thing I have ever heard.
She is still a fighter, that refuse to quit or be told no trait that helped her excel in the NICU........... Well....it didn't go anywhere. She now channels the inner fighter into staying awake. She isn't a big fan of going to sleep, so she gives it everything she has before she finally tuckers out. I can't complain though, once she goes down...she usually sleeps through the night. (knock on wood)
How am I? Well I'm learning. I guess that is what this parenthood thing is all about. I feel overwhelmed and confused sometimes, but overall I just feel happy. I still miss her every morning that I have to go to work, but it makes me value the time I have with her that much more.
She went for a check up the other day. She now weighs..................... 11 lbs. 13oz. !!!!! Right at 12lbs. That means she has gained 10 lbs. We love it! She is so chubby and cute!
Check this out.
She has a wardrobe that could rival any celebrity yet she prefers.....................
.JPG)
To rock a diaper!
Keep her in your prayers....We have a very important NICU follow-up appointment coming up on September 12th.
Love you all!!!!
We are also really starting to see her personality. There is nothing "little" about it. She already thinks she should be calling all the shots around here. She is laughing out loud! She started with just a tiny little "hee hee" a few weeks ago, but we have now progressed to a full-out chuckle. It is literally the sweetest thing I have ever heard.
She is still a fighter, that refuse to quit or be told no trait that helped her excel in the NICU........... Well....it didn't go anywhere. She now channels the inner fighter into staying awake. She isn't a big fan of going to sleep, so she gives it everything she has before she finally tuckers out. I can't complain though, once she goes down...she usually sleeps through the night. (knock on wood)
How am I? Well I'm learning. I guess that is what this parenthood thing is all about. I feel overwhelmed and confused sometimes, but overall I just feel happy. I still miss her every morning that I have to go to work, but it makes me value the time I have with her that much more.
She went for a check up the other day. She now weighs..................... 11 lbs. 13oz. !!!!! Right at 12lbs. That means she has gained 10 lbs. We love it! She is so chubby and cute!
Check this out.
She has a wardrobe that could rival any celebrity yet she prefers.....................
.JPG)
To rock a diaper!
Keep her in your prayers....We have a very important NICU follow-up appointment coming up on September 12th.
Love you all!!!!
Monday, August 6, 2012
Chapter 18 ( It Takes a Village)
I am an elementary teacher. This will be my 6th year teaching the most precious little children. I am always super excited to meet my class. There is something different about the way I see them this year. Don't get me wrong, I have always loved them. In fact for years they have been the children I didn't have. Sweet hugs from my school babies helped me forget sometimes how much I longed for a precious baby of my own. I guess my feelings toward my children haven't changed, it's more my feelings toward the parents. You see I always have tried to put myself in the place of my children, I've tried to be aware of their concerns and their fears. I have wiped their tears and tried my best to make them feel comfortable. I have put myself in the shoes of the struggling reader or the shy pupil, which has always allowed me to create a classroom environment where students weren't afraid to try. I try to be aware of how scared the new kid must be by remembering my days a new teacher.
The difference now is that I never realized exactly what the parents must go through. I think about tomorrow, and my heart goes out to all the parents. How scary it must be to send your world into the care of a complete stranger. My mom is keeping Dani Marie. She is the most loving, nurturing, kind, and capable woman I know. I know every day when I leave Dani Marie with her that she will be well taken care of. I know she will be showered with kisses, hugs, and laughter. Knowing this doesn't stop the tears. I know she is fine, but I miss her just the same. So the thought of having to send my baby into the arms of someone I met only for a few minutes on orientation night......Wow! That is hard to take in. I know those days are ahead, and I know that the Lord will prepare me for them.
In the meantime, I now look at each one of my students and I know that some parent is sending me "their Dani Marie". I have always seen the 7 year old who was nervous about her first day, but now I notice the mom who is fighting back tears. I watched a dad fill out the emergency contact form. I imagined how scary it might be to trust decisions about his son's care to someone he had only known a few minutes. These 19 kids will be with me each day during the school year as much as they will be with their parents.
This new perspective makes me so thankful to live in Booneville, Mississippi. I thank the Lord that I work at a school like Anderson Elementary. I know these teachers, and I look up to so many of them. Teachers who go out of their way to cover the smallest scrape with a Barbie band-aid, because they realize that the" boo boo" hurt Sally's pride more than her knee. The teacher that gives the entire class some goldfish mid-morning, because she knows that Joe was running late this morning and didn't get a chance to eat breakfast. The kindergarten teachers who hug a little extra, the teacher on morning duty who always has the biggest smile, I have the privilege of working with these amazing people every day. I think the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child" is spot on.
I'm blessed to live in a community where I can feel good about sending my little girl to school, church, etc.
I'm very thankful for the new perspective that God has given me this year. Tomorrow morning I will start my year the way I always do, by praying for each of my students who come to me. This year I will also being praying for the parents who are letting them go.
The difference now is that I never realized exactly what the parents must go through. I think about tomorrow, and my heart goes out to all the parents. How scary it must be to send your world into the care of a complete stranger. My mom is keeping Dani Marie. She is the most loving, nurturing, kind, and capable woman I know. I know every day when I leave Dani Marie with her that she will be well taken care of. I know she will be showered with kisses, hugs, and laughter. Knowing this doesn't stop the tears. I know she is fine, but I miss her just the same. So the thought of having to send my baby into the arms of someone I met only for a few minutes on orientation night......Wow! That is hard to take in. I know those days are ahead, and I know that the Lord will prepare me for them.
In the meantime, I now look at each one of my students and I know that some parent is sending me "their Dani Marie". I have always seen the 7 year old who was nervous about her first day, but now I notice the mom who is fighting back tears. I watched a dad fill out the emergency contact form. I imagined how scary it might be to trust decisions about his son's care to someone he had only known a few minutes. These 19 kids will be with me each day during the school year as much as they will be with their parents.
This new perspective makes me so thankful to live in Booneville, Mississippi. I thank the Lord that I work at a school like Anderson Elementary. I know these teachers, and I look up to so many of them. Teachers who go out of their way to cover the smallest scrape with a Barbie band-aid, because they realize that the" boo boo" hurt Sally's pride more than her knee. The teacher that gives the entire class some goldfish mid-morning, because she knows that Joe was running late this morning and didn't get a chance to eat breakfast. The kindergarten teachers who hug a little extra, the teacher on morning duty who always has the biggest smile, I have the privilege of working with these amazing people every day. I think the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child" is spot on.
I'm blessed to live in a community where I can feel good about sending my little girl to school, church, etc.
I'm very thankful for the new perspective that God has given me this year. Tomorrow morning I will start my year the way I always do, by praying for each of my students who come to me. This year I will also being praying for the parents who are letting them go.
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