Chapter 20 ( My Joy Comes in the Morning )
I had an incredible experience this week. I guess it was really just one of those regular mom moments that people can take for granted, but for me......it was amazing!
I am still getting in the routine of getting two people ready each day instead of just one. I'm pretty easy and certainly don't spend hours on wardrobe, hair, and makeup each day. The other half of my morning duo, well she is quite the little fashion icon. Well, I have gotten into the swing of our morning schedule for the most part. Monday morning of this week I was meeting a prayer team at our school. Our pastor and student minister, along with several of us have committed to meet once a month and pray for our local schools, students, and teachers. I was running a little ahead of schedule.(surprisingly) Dani Marie and I were both ready and headed toward the door at 6:15. Right as we started to walk out, the most magnificent thing happened.................
She spit up all over my outfit. I know that probably isn't what you were expecting me to say.
I mean, I guess to a lot of people, this would have been an inconvenience at the least. I stood there for a few minutes and just stared at my clothes. This moment brought my heart so much joy. I don't know how to explain it. I just thought to myself, if someone would have told me five months ago that I would be leaving for work and have to change my clothes because a baby, MY baby spit up on them???? My heart just would not have been able to believe it.
So for that moment, I just stood still. Then in my kitchen I dropped down and praised a God who heals. The burden of infertility has become in a matter of months my greatest blessing. The path that I was determined would be the death of me, led me to my life's greatest joy. I thanked the Lord for the tiny girl, who isn't so tiny anymore. There I was..... What a sight! In the kitchen floor, holding Dani Marie, crying like a baby, and praising Jesus for spit-up. That moment reminded me that motherhood was so very real. It wasn't the idea of motherhood that I had longed for, it was the everyday "real" relationship that mothers have with their children. I do love dressing my living baby doll up every morning, (and then again 2 or 3 more times each day) I love that, but what I love even more is being a little late because I have to run in and change clothes because she spits up on me. I asked the Lord to continue to use moments like that one to bring me back down to my knees in praise.
Several verses from Psalm 30 really described everything I was feeling.......
I will extol you, O Lord, for you have drawn me up
and have not let my foes rejoice over me.
2 O Lord my God, I cried to you for help,
and you have healed me.
11 You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
you have loosed my sackcloth
and clothed me with gladness,
12 that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!
And my favorite....
Weeping may endure for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.
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