Wednesday, September 8, 2021

Chapter 58: "She's too much"

 Happy September! I don't know about y'all, but the "ber" months are our favorites! We are looking forward to all things fall with eager anticipation. Quick recap.... We are now in the 4th grade! Can you even believe? This is our very last year of elementary school. Our girl is growing fast. Maybe the fact that it's such a special and sentimental year has me reflecting a little more than ever lately on our journey. You guys have been such a supportive part of that journey, so I thought I'd share my heart. 

I didn't understand being a "Momma Bear" until not too long ago. I have heard the term, and I've even seen the actions. I just didn't personally relate until I became a momma myself. It's a real thing y'all. When someone is ugly to your child, it just hits different. Come for me all day, everyday, and I can roll with it. Sometimes I shed a few tears, but I generally bounce back after giving it over to the Lord. Be ugly to my baby, well that puts me in the flesh like nothing else. I'd like to say my first reaction is forgiveness and grace, but that usually comes much later after I recover from the initial "Momma Bear" syndrome. No judgment please, I'm a work in progress, working to be more like Jesus...and stumbling a good bit along the way. Just keeping it real. 

Don't we all love when people love us well? Like genuinely love us? I'm a recovering people pleaser. I like for others to like me, but I've learned that is impossible all the time. Most people love Dani Marie. She has a contagious personality, a heart of gold, and loves people. We learned a while back that not everyone can appreciate that in a child. Someone we both thought a lot of, made some very hurtful comments about her last year. Y'all, it tore me up. One of the remarks was that, "She is too much." I mean, really? Apparently her personality was a little much for them. That's ok. It is. Dani was very sad when she realized this adult didn't really care for her "bubbliness" or her "enthusiasm". We sat and had many talks about this. We encouraged her to continue to respect this adult and to do her best to be the bigger person. We explained to her that there was absolutely nothing wrong with her personality. But y'all......I was salty. Like really? Talking about kids? Wow....Anyway as always time heals and life goes on.... I hadn't really thought about that much lately until this weekend. 

Labor Day weekend, over the years has been full of different adventures. We have been on many vacations and fun filled outings during this holiday weekend in the past. This year, the agenda was not quite as exciting. The to do list included painting our doors, deep cleaning baseboards, changing out curtains, cleaning out refrigerator and cabinets, washing walls, and other "fall cleaning" tasks. I was up early, as usual, preparing for the day. I have to be honest, I was not looking forward to this list at all. I was wishing I was vacationing at the beach or mountains or just anywhere. I was kind of in a foul mood over it. Then.....Dani Marie woke up. I explained what all was on the agenda for the day. I fully expected her to moan or say something like, "Bummer". That was the opposite of her response. She got wide eyes, like she does when she has an idea. She said, "Momma! This is going to be the best weekend EVER!" I want to help! Can I help? Just go with me on this. Let's pretend this weekend we are on our own reality tv show. Let me think......Yes, got it! Let's call it DESIGN GIRLS and let's even make shirts! Can you make us shirts on your Cricut? Oh, and we need names! Like stage names...let's start them all with E's. Let's call Granna and Papa and they can be on the team as consultants. We can facetime them. Daddy, he can be Evan, and he can have a spinoff show called "Build it Better" and he can mainly just come on to do construction or haul stuff off. He doesn't really have a tv personality, but he does good on construction. We will just show him some. We can give people tips for cleaning and updating their homes. We can tell them "how to" do it all. I'm so excited. This is going to be the best weekend." 

And you know what? It was. It really was. Edith (my stage name was a nod to my Ma Edith) and Eevee had the best weekend "filming" for Design Girls. We laughed and talked and shook our heads when Evan (Daniel) would say something we were sure would cost us viewers. Dani Marie scrubbed baseboards and picked out curtains, all while giving tips to our invisible camera crew for an audience that was all in her mind. I laid down that night, exhausted from the day, but I felt so full. I was saying my nightly prayers and I recalled that comment made about her. You know what? That person was right. She is "too much". She is "too much" of a blessing for some to appreciate or understand. Not just her, but anyone with a bright and positive energy is sometimes "too much" for others who refuse to see the glass half full. Dani Marie, from day one, has not only been strong but she has been positive. She has an encouraging spirit and a true love for life. I don't know if it comers from being thankful she was given the opportunity to live it or her genuine love for others. She loves to entertain. She loves to give tips and encouragement.  In a perfect world, everyone would see that and love her back. And she has had so many people who have over the years. We can't begin to list the people who have poured into her and encouraged her. Not everyone will though, some will do more draining than pouring into. That is ok. Maybe you are currently in Momma Bear mode because someone has hurt your child. I hope you will read this and feel encouraged. We are all "too much" or "not enough" or too this or that, or lacking this or that, for others. That's ok. God designed us each to be exactly who He wanted us to be. Others don't have to understand that, as long as we do. I know she is "too much" for them. I thanked God that night for the millionth time for choosing to deliver me from my brokeness. I prayed for so many years to be a momma. I would have settled for any way possible to make that dream come true, but I could have never imagined what God had for me. She was so much more than what I deserved or expected. Even now, nine years later I can't believe I was gifted this sweet soul. She's really "too much" and I'm thankful when I asked God to heal me, he did so much more. This weekend would have been a boring and tiring weekend, but Dani Marie doesn't do boring. She found a way to make it so much fun, and I'm still on cloud nine about it. Watch out HGTV, Design Girls is coming for ya! 

Love y'all! 

P.S. Peep the shirts :) 



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