I hate sad stories! I really do. I'm the person who gets fighting mad at movies that don't end the way they should, (and it doesn't help my feelings any when they include a bonus feature on the DVD with alternate endings). That is just who I am! I love fairytale endings. If I even suspect a sad ending I will turn off the movie or put down the book. I say (write?) this to tell you that this blog is a happy one! I can't get you to fully appreciate the fairytale part without back tracking to the not so happy part. So in honor of all you like me, who need a little proof that the ending is worth sticking with..............Feast your eyes on this lady:
So, I'm planning on getting very honest in this blog. It ain't all pretty, but just stick it out~the ending is amazing!
I'm sure you all know who I am. My name is Ashlee and I am a 1st Grade teacher. I absolutely love my job. I get to be with the sweetest kids all day. I know without a shadow of a doubt the Lord called me to teach children. I'm married to the sweetest man around. (most days...just kidding!) Daniel and I have been together 7 years, married for 6.
We knew having a baby might be challenging due to some health issues I have, so we decided to start a family right away. (Or so we thought) The 1st year of infertility was unpleasant, the 2nd year was miserable, the 3rd year was heart-breaking, the 4th year was almost unbearable, and the 5th year was devastating. I won't get into the failed fertility treatments or the horrible side effects, but I will say that we tried and tried to have a baby.
We are both Christians, so after it became very clear that starting a family would be a struggle, our faith was tested. Infertility is a pain that I would not wish on my worst enemy. It strains relationships.
If someone would have told me last week, I would be thanking God for the years of infertility we struggled with, I would have called them a liar.
Here I sit tonight after the wildest, most wonderful week of my life praising God for every tear I cried, every failed treatment, and every bump in the road. I can now see his perfect plan revealed.
This past December was a very difficult time for me. A very dear friend of mine was expecting her 1st child. Daniel and I decided to try an aggressive round of fertility meds and hormones. I had decided I was going to get a baby, I believed if I just believed enough that the medicine would work. God had other plans. I remember lying on the bathroom floor violently sick after the medicine had failed. I cried out to God. I screamed and I cried. "Why? God, how can you be so cruel? You have called me to work with your children, but you bring me home to a childless house every night. I pour my heart and soul into those kids, but you won't grant my heart's desire." I was broken hearted, and I felt like God wasn't listening. I felt like I was falling on deaf ears.
I know now that at that very moment, God's plan had been placed into action. At that very moment the biological mother of our precious daughter was early in her pregnancy. My cries weren't falling on deaf ears, but were being heard by a God who had already created and woven together my Miracle.
We decided not long after that night in December to take a break. I just needed some time to clear my head. I had started looking into even more aggressive fertility treatments. I just didn't think I could put my body through any more. During this time, a friend went through a tragic loss. She "praised God all the way through her storm". I decided that if she could come through that with her faith in tact, that I could be at peace with a childless home. I didn't understand, but I had made peace with it.
About 1 week later, I got a phone call that changed my life...............
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